jokes jokes jokes jokes( piadas em inglês)

God and the man

A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a
few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all."

So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time,
so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"

God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."

The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you,
how much is a million dollars?"

God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."

The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me
five cents please?"

God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son.
Just wait five minutes!"

What's 3 x 2?
A little boy returned home from school and told his father that he
had failed the maths test.
His father asked him, "Why did you fail?"
The boy replied, "The teacher asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?' and I said
'3 x 2 is 6'."
"Well, that's right" said his father.
The little boy continued, "Then she asked me 'How much is 2 x 3?"
"What the hell is the difference?" asked the father.
The son replied, "That's exactly what I said to my teacher and that's
why I failed the maths test.



Long grass
One afternoon a wealthy laywer was sitting in the back of his ,
limousine being driven to work, when he saw two men eating grass
by the side of the road.
He ordered his driver to stop, and then he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the men.
"Sir, we don't have any money for food," one of the men replied.
"Come along with me," instructed the lawyer.
The first man said, "But sir, I have a wife and two children. They
are also hungry."
"Bring them along too," replied the lawyer.
The second man said, "Sir, I have a wife and six children. Can they
come as well, please?"
"No problem, bring them as well," answered the lawyer as he climbed
back into his limo.
Finally, they were all in the limo - the lawyer, the two men, their
two wives and eight children.
One of the men said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all
of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, there will be plenty to eat at my home.
The grass is almost half a metre tall."